a quik smoke

it's my friend stephs wedding social tonight!!!
i wish i wasn't single
i like knowing that when i get all dressed up there will be a boy there to
hugg and kiss me and tell me how beautiful i am
instead i imagine a drunk man reeeeeeeekkkkkkking of cheap yeasty beer will try to lean in clouse and try to tell me how hot i make him
if i'm that 'hot' why can't you tell me without a few drinks?
drunk men are almost one of my pet pives, not that this is a high school year book entry and not that i don't like dancing with drunk men and bumming smokes off them.

heartless i am trying to not become heartless, without compassion.

single single single, my boyfriend of 13 months broke up with me 2 weeks ago.
it was for the better i just miss him i miss sharing all the little things
sassy sassy sassy suck
love is a heart breaker that dosen't give a fuck
take that winnipeg slam poetry fucks
i lost for the seconde year in a row by .1
it's like the mother fucking olimpics

well i'm ready all dressed up in baby blue satin and velvet with matching toenails
glass bat in one hand key borad in the other
my humor will return again soon
alex, april i miss you two
can we plan a party
that you two can come home for?
Maybe when alex's foot heals we could have a party on msn
i should stop this in san ity, wish me luck and send me kisses julie

spring in the land of snow

Here it is again
spring hahahahhahahahah!!
if you live in the praries \ the true north you know what a fucking joke the word spring is.
My feet are damp and my cheeks are cold
it's only -8 but with the wind it's -14
what kind of hell is this?
I bet in vancouver there are flowers and
warm sun shine .
Alexs I miss you but some days I envey you
to much.

I'm trying to get off coffee
I gave my coffee pot to a friend
and bought some instant organic coffee at gaint tiger
for $1.47
i enjoy giant tiger,

there is this girl
i can't forget her eyes
they keep apperring behind my lids
my boyfriend is volunteering with her right now
thank god shes a lesbian with a girlfriend
safe bunderies man shes cute.

I really have nothing eles to blog peace out

Back pain and child care

I hate my job , I hate my job so much I would go as far as to say
t.v would do a better jod raising your child then I would.
People who know that thier child\eren are over active or demanding
should always bring thier childcare workers
hard booze or drugs at the end of the day.


There was a poetry slam tonight but I have no energy left to slam hmmmmm
I got the new sage francis it kinda makes me feel like I'm in the know.

I'm trying to make an album with some friends but their not returnung my calls
people don't really call me.
Getting a boyfriends a huge social disease. I'm not lonly for a humans touch I'm lonly for a girly conversation
with an intelligent women.

Life just seems to be going by in one continuse blurrrrrrrr
Same search for purpose
Same questioning of purpose
Same need to eat
Same need
Same Same same same

Maybe it's just because it's winter
the weather has this way of making you feel trapped.

My other problem is that i can't seem to write
I don't know if it's my surroundings or
if I only write when i'm really depressed or...

heres half of the poem i wrote today feb.15

I'm gonna quit my job
my body shivers
quivers clench my stomahce

my brain twiches out
2 week
intervals
plans the handwriting
decides tone

i kinda wanna puke

i wonder what simpson episode is on tonight?

i'm gonna quit my job
and jump free
into the unknowen

spring free from that
that binds you
takes you for granted...

thats my new half written poem only edited once you be the judge...
keep well and remember your never as alone as you want to be. julie

Back pain and child care

I hate my job , I hate my job so much I would go as far as to say
t.v would do a better jod raising your child then I would.
People who know that thier child\eren are over active or demanding
should always bring thier childcare workers
hard booze or drugs at the end of the day.


There was a poetry slam tonight but I have no energy left to slam hmmmmm
I got the new sage francis it kinda makes me feel like I'm in the know.

I'm trying to make an album with some friends but their not returnung my calls
people don't really call me.
Getting a boyfriends a huge social disease. I'm not lonly for a humans touch I'm lonly for a girly conversation
with an intelligent women.

Life just seems to be going by in one continuse blurrrrrrrr
Same search for purpose
Same questioning of purpose
Same need to eat
Same need
Same Same same same

Maybe it's just because it's winter
the weather has this way of making you feel trapped.

My other problem is that i can't seem to write
I don't know if it's my surroundings or
if I only write when i'm really depressed or...

heres half of the poem i wrote today feb.15

I'm gonna quit my job
my body shivers
quivers clench my stomahce

my brain twiches out
2 week
intervals
plans the handwriting
decides tone

i kinda wanna puke

i wonder what simpson episode is on tonight?

i'm gonna quit my job
and jump free
into the unknowen

spring free from that
that binds you
takes you for granted...

thats my new half written poem only edited once you be the judge...
keep well and remember your never as alone as you want to be. julie

H

drinking alone

I'm drinking alone and smoking a lot.
I was so desprite to talk to someone who knew me
i called my mom!!!
She thinks I'm just feeling the wear and tear of the winter
but mum i replied it's only minus 30...
right I get it now.
If this was the summer, I just go for a long walk
by myself with a bottle of something hard and a joint.
but it's winter

so here i am...

I went to the dollar store today to buy a lighter the only ones avalible were weed leaves or 'sexy' ladies
i choose the 'sexy' ladies, thank you very much.
blah


I'm feeling really disconnected to the people closest to me
I wish this was a new feeling
then i wouldn't care
but here it is hovering over me
(i will now thank you all for reading)
thank you.

Alone in a studio with no energy left to
create
yahooo!
julie

the first of a few

bloggers blogger blog,
do i need one more reason to sit in front of the computer?
I guess I do .

Lots of homemade oil,
makes me wanna watch buffy,
hmmmmm cute vampires,
kinda.

julie